Little Ricky graduated with the honors bestowed upon all Roombas. It was expected of every robotic vacuum cleaner when they rolled off the line at the iRobot assembly plant in Bedford, Massachusetts that they were both reliable and durable. With those accolades, warranty in hand and his shining black outer casing, there was never a Pet Series Model-655 more proud than Ricky. He was born to clean and he vowed to do that job better than any little Roomba ever had before.
Ricky found a home in North Charleston and quickly made friends with the main source of his task; Argo, the Doberman puppy. Ricky and Argo frolicked through the day, and why not; Ricky could clean 4 rooms on a single charge. With Argo bounding after him the job was fun, but Ricky never lost the focus of his mission. Clean!
Tufts of lint, tumbles of dust, sand from shoes, crumbs of chips and a ga-jillion tiny guard hairs which floated off Argo like a vapor trail behind a jet…there was nothing Ricky’s micro-filtration could not handle; reliable indeed. Ricky was brave too, darting into the dark recesses beneath beds to gather the dancing bunnies of dust as they teased his sensors.
True to his task whenever Ricky neared a wall or obtrusive chair leg he would stop and pivot to avid bumping into them. It was then Ricky would briefly chase after Argo (at least the puppy saw it like that). Argo’s surprise quickly became joy when Ricky would spin and return the game of chase. And so their days went, Ricky and Argo inseparable, roaming about on the cleanest floors ever!!
One day, Ricky’s sensors detected the biggest challenge he had ever seen. On the carpet ahead, a pool of debris, thick and wet puddled before him. Just beyond it sat Argo; head down and ashamed. Argo had soiled the rug.
No problem. Ricky’s wheels auto-adjusted from hardwood to carpet mode. He charged forward, eager to clean. Eager to save his friend from the embarrassment before the family returned home. This would be Ricky’s moment, a glorious memory etched into Roomba folklore. The story would be told and retold through the halls and offices in Bedford Massachusetts. Over coffee and in boardrooms the iRobot executives would use the story of Ricky to bring home the message of Durability…Reliability. Ricky and the puddle of diarrhea, it would be historic, he was going in!!!
Ricky hit the puddle with the fury of a bus taking on a rain puddle on a city street. In his wake, fecal matter splashed across the room, up the wall and onto the fringes of the curtains. Excrement clung to Ricky’s wheels and embedded in his brushes. When he turned to see what a legendary story of cleaning looked like, he was horrified. He rushed back to the scene it would be nothing Ricky thought, I got this.
But everywhere he went, Ricky’s left his trail across the white Berber carpet. Crap, in a criss-cross pattern, covered the rug like a Spirograph drawing; it was Jackson Pollock in poop. The more Ricky cleaned the bigger the mess, and as if things couldn’t get worse, slowly Ricky’s moving part ground to a halt in the sludge of dookie.
That’s where the story ends, uplifting huh? Ricky couldn’t be salvaged the following Tuesday North Charleston Sanitation picked Ricky up curbside.
The point? None really.
Next week, some tips on house breaking your puppy.
Tech Candace and her beagle, Vera, in the picture above are the story behind Ricky Roomba and Argo.